terça-feira, 6 de dezembro de 2011
♥ What's going on in my heart
I HAVE NO FREAKING IDEA
I guess I don't even like you, I just got used to the idea of liking you. You know, it happened a lot with the other guy, but at least that one I really loved. It wasn't just a messed friendship, I loved him, so, yeah, it was kinda hard to let him go. But what I mean is that I used to think about him whenever I had nothing better to think about. I was really, really confused a few months ago, because I caught myself thinking of him quite a lot and it made me stop and think "wait, am I still in love with him?". The answer is no. And I guess this is the same answer for you.
The thing is, I have NOTHING or NO ONE to think about 90% of my year and I know myself, I know I don't feel complete without thinking about someone all day long. Since ever I'm always in love with someone (yeah, like platonic) and it is weird to not have someone to think about.
So, I was dying to see you. I missed you SO MUCH. Or, at least, I tought I was missing you. I don't know anymore!
I got home and I waited like 2 or 3 days to finally see you. I wanted to see you and I kept imagining how it would be, how I would feel when you hold me. And when I less expected you showed up, you didn't hug me, you almost didn't even talk to me, you just "touched" my head and kept walking. It was weird, because I was REALLY waiting to hug you.
But the weirdest thing is that I didn't feel disappointed. I felt nothing at all. It just was... like... ok. And the days went by and it is still ok. AND THIS IS FREAKING WEIRD. How can I not feel anything after waiting to see you for so long? After imagining a thousand of situations? I'm really weird!
And today I finally had a conversation with a friend and she told me something that got me thinking. She wanted to give me an advice, but today she just said "I would have told you to do that, but then I realized he didn't even ask me about you, so I thought you should just forget about it". She also said her boyfriend - which is one of your best friends - told her that you weren't the best person for me. And the awkward thing is that I know he's right. YOU know he's right.
And today I saw you again, we had that AWKWARD conversation and I couldn't barely look at you. I don't know what to do anymore.
Also, today I saw something you posted on your tumblr, as an answer to someone's question, saying that THAT text you wrote about me was to someone you wanted to say something, but you couldn't. YOU COULD. You had plenty opportunities to talk to me and you didn't! Seriously, I don't understand what you're doing, I can't understand what you want. JUST TALK TO ME!!
Now I'm here, wishing you could talk to me, trying to figure out what is going on in my heart, because my head is a mess and my feelings are gone. I don't know what to do, so, could you, please, help me?
I guess I don't even like you, I just got used to the idea of liking you. You know, it happened a lot with the other guy, but at least that one I really loved. It wasn't just a messed friendship, I loved him, so, yeah, it was kinda hard to let him go. But what I mean is that I used to think about him whenever I had nothing better to think about. I was really, really confused a few months ago, because I caught myself thinking of him quite a lot and it made me stop and think "wait, am I still in love with him?". The answer is no. And I guess this is the same answer for you.
The thing is, I have NOTHING or NO ONE to think about 90% of my year and I know myself, I know I don't feel complete without thinking about someone all day long. Since ever I'm always in love with someone (yeah, like platonic) and it is weird to not have someone to think about.
So, I was dying to see you. I missed you SO MUCH. Or, at least, I tought I was missing you. I don't know anymore!
I got home and I waited like 2 or 3 days to finally see you. I wanted to see you and I kept imagining how it would be, how I would feel when you hold me. And when I less expected you showed up, you didn't hug me, you almost didn't even talk to me, you just "touched" my head and kept walking. It was weird, because I was REALLY waiting to hug you.
But the weirdest thing is that I didn't feel disappointed. I felt nothing at all. It just was... like... ok. And the days went by and it is still ok. AND THIS IS FREAKING WEIRD. How can I not feel anything after waiting to see you for so long? After imagining a thousand of situations? I'm really weird!
And today I finally had a conversation with a friend and she told me something that got me thinking. She wanted to give me an advice, but today she just said "I would have told you to do that, but then I realized he didn't even ask me about you, so I thought you should just forget about it". She also said her boyfriend - which is one of your best friends - told her that you weren't the best person for me. And the awkward thing is that I know he's right. YOU know he's right.
And today I saw you again, we had that AWKWARD conversation and I couldn't barely look at you. I don't know what to do anymore.
Also, today I saw something you posted on your tumblr, as an answer to someone's question, saying that THAT text you wrote about me was to someone you wanted to say something, but you couldn't. YOU COULD. You had plenty opportunities to talk to me and you didn't! Seriously, I don't understand what you're doing, I can't understand what you want. JUST TALK TO ME!!
Now I'm here, wishing you could talk to me, trying to figure out what is going on in my heart, because my head is a mess and my feelings are gone. I don't know what to do, so, could you, please, help me?
02:53
